Chapter 25: 25

Ayla POV

I have no idea how I can walk into this room. Everything seems like a dream to me. How could I even go through this? Everything was so perfect till now but everything just became a nightmare in a blink of an eye. Just how does everything turn out like this? How?

Where did the seven go wrong?

Ahh, my head is aching a lot.

"Brother"

"How could you do this to me?"

"Is this why you take me to him on your own as if you knew about everything beforehand?"

"Did I seem like a plaything to you? Or did you take revenge on me like this because of the way you talk to dad? Is it because I took your share of love? Maybe because of this but why Yona?"

"No, why am I even blaming her when she clearly said James didn’t like me in the first place. Why did I even bother to confess to him when he said he will never like a little girl like me? I’m such a foolish person in this entire world."

I feel like mocking myself because I truly deserve this. But why don’t I feel sad at all? Didn’t I just break my heart? Then why is there no pain but only hate to keep growing for brother and James? Is it because I got betrayed or is it because I only had a liking for him and mistaken it for love?

I can’t seem to make up my mind.

Everything seems so confusing to me.

I opened the window of the room. I could see everything is live outside but this room is so cold and gloomy. I feel as if I’m out of this place. This loud, lively place seems out of reach.

Ahh, my headaches again. Why does it keep happening to me?

I held my head when I saw something. It was a time when mom, dad and Jace having dinner while their laugh kept growing louder but I couldn’t find myself around them but I’m seeing as if I’m super far from them. But then I saw myself standing at the stairs looking at them. She has tears in her eyes and looks at them full of jealousy as if she already knew then she doesn’t belong in this place.

I came to a reality which didn’t even affect me as if I already thought of this.

I kept staring out of the window when I heard a knock on the door.

I didn’t answer but then I heard a voice.

"Baby, it must be cold. Open the door I brought blankets for you", it was dad.

Only he talks to me with full affection. I heard moms are full of affection but that seems out of my dictionary. Mom seems distant to me. But dad always came whenever I needed but sometimes I feel as if he is doing this to repay some debt. I don’t know why?

"Baby", he called again.

"I don’t need a dad. Please return", I said.

"But you will be cold", he said, making me clench my fist.

You purposely made me go hard on you dad.

"I won’t die with this much cold", I said while I didn’t get any more response.

I kept waiting for his response but I could hear nothing. I slowly opened the door after a while I found none but the blanket and hot pads were placed in front of the door.

"Dad, you are stubborn but still thank you. I will use it well for the last night in this mansion." I said as if I could feel dad is still here and putting my head with the warm feelings he always gave me.

I have no idea where I will go but I no longer have the desire to stay here. I, not running away but if I keep seeing those faces my entire life I may lose myself. It’s not like I have friends who I will miss but yeah I feel as if I need to talk with someone I feel close to in my heart even if I don’t know the reason.

I let out my phone from my back pocket and dialled a number.

It kept ringing for a while but at last, someone received it.

"Who is it?" yeah it’s him who makes my heart beat like crazy.

"Aaron", I said. It must be the first and last time I call his name with so much emotion.

"Ayla?" yeah knew it instantly as if he knew me the way I know him.

"Ayla, is it you?" He is excited.

"Yeah it’s me", my voice was low.

There was a silence between both sides which made my heart go crazy. I don’t have any idea why I’m feeling this way for this idiot when this is supposed to be my feelings for James but no I have no more reason to explain what I’m feeling. I’m so confused.

"Ayla, say something", he said, making my breathing faster.

"Are you going to continue being silent?"

I again didn’t say anything.

"Ok if you don’t want to say then let me say whatever I want to say."

"I may sound crazy right now but still hear me out till the end. Whatever thing I’m going to say now is important. It may not be for you but hearing your voice like this talking to you surely drives me crazy."

Me too, I wanted to say.

"I know you and James are in a relationship. Still, I wanted to tell you I always loved you."

Always?

"The Moment you came to school after getting transferred and when I saw you I felt as if my heart stopped for a minute seeing you. But I couldn’t say but when you recover I was no longer in your memory making me devastated for the First Time. I kept continuing to love you but I couldn’t so thanks for being with me all these times because there won’t be any moment in future."

"I’m leaving this place so I wanted to tell you for the first and last time."

"I love you."

He hung up instantly while I was in tears.

I can understand everything now. This was the feeling of being in love. This was the feeling of being overwhelmed just hearing the one you love. This is the feeling I was missing but it ended with the first and last confession from my first love.

I know I could have shouted and told him it’s not James but him to whom I ended up giving my heart but it is no longer important. This night gave me lots of things. I felt happy, I felt sad, I felt betrayed, and I felt cherished but the feeling of being loved was the most memorable for me.

I wish I could tell you I love you more than you do but it ended with a one-sided conversation. I hope we will meet in future and cherish this first love or we may end with the one we never expected.

This feeling sure is something I could never describe no matter how I say it.

At morning

"Dad, I’m ready", I said while dad was bringing my luggage from my room.

"You sure about this?" he asked again.

"Of course dad", I replied with a bright smile.

"Can’t you reconsider this?"

"I reconsider but all I can think is if I stay here I will end up losing myself. I’m sure I will break even more. So let me go. Let me fly high, forgetting everything this is how I can leave. Don’t tie me with shackles." I said while he patted my head.

We both were standing in the living room but I couldn’t see anyone. This is good. I don’t want to see these faces that will only remind me of the pain they caused me.

"Shall we go?"

"Yeah", he said while he drove the car to the airport.

I’m sure I won’t be the broken Ayla anymore. I don’t know if I’m going to come back here or not but I’m glad I’m leaving all my memories here behind me. And I’m glad the memories I forgot will be left behind too.

"I will live well", I said to myself.

This withered flower will bloom again with a new day.

"Call me when you reach. Got it?" Dad asked.

"I will. Don’t worry I’m not a kid and even if I am you should let me be myself so that I can get over difficulties." I said.

"Yeah yeah you grew up a lot", he ruffled my hair.

"Ok I’m going now", I said and moved my feet toward the plane. This is my first time being alone here but I feel no fear but a weird excitement running through my veins.

Yeah, I can do it.

Ayla can do it.

I keep saying to myself and walking forward.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by Aunomay