Chapter 28: 29

I again couldn’t sleep properly. Again, why? I thought I had forgotten all those bad memories but again he came to my place and stirred my heart and forced me to think of those memories.

Ah, it hurts.

"Ayla, you are late for your class", I heard Jennifer’s voice.

I quickly checked the time when I realised I only have an hour.

I hurried to the washroom and came out in just a few minutes. I didn’t even have breakfast but ran to college. I have no idea what is going to happen to me but my heart feels so uneasy. It kept beating loud as if it was telling me something is going to happen and I have no idea what it is.

"Ayla, calm down. You will be ok", I kept telling myself while I reached the front gate of the campus.

I ran as fast as I could and stopped in front of my class.

"May I come in sir?" I was almost breathless.

"Ayla, you are late", the teacher said but he let me in eventually. But when I entered I found out all seats were almost full making me unable to find one.

Still, I walked forward and finally found a seat where a person was sleeping. It made me think of similar feelings. Just how long has it been since I thought of the person? Is it a week? Is it a month? Is it a year? How long?

I have no idea but whenever I thought of that person I could vividly imagine the face as if I could never imagine the person with a grown-up appearance.

I again snap out of my thoughts and sit beside him.

The lecture kept continuing but he didn’t bother to get up and make notes nor bother to listen to the notes but kept snoring.

"Just how did I end up here?" I mumbled.

"What?" He spoke.

I was startled.

He was the same person.

Gosh

How did I even end up here in this situation? I could just dig a hole and bury myself.

"Oh, it’s you?" Yeah, he remembers me.

"Xenon, have you had enough of your sleep?" The teacher said,

"Ah"

"And Ayla, isn’t it enough that I let you in despite being late? If not then both of you get out of my class", he said while pointing his finger toward the exit door.

I’m ashamed. I never felt that way in my entire life. Just how this guy could be my classmate when I didn’t even see him my entire year.

"So we meet again", he asked as soon as we came out.

"It was a hell of a coincidence. I didn’t know we could meet again when you took it as a one-night stand and planned to not see us again?" He pointed out how I ran away.

"Could you please shut your mouth?" I said in frustration.

"Why?" He asked.

"If you know that was a one-night stand then why bother to say it out every time?" I said.

"But I want something beneficial too", I was about to snap.

"What is beneficial? Isn’t that what you should do as a repayment?" I asked.

"Yeah I did but I approached you for my benefit too." He said.

"As you already know when we were together I called out someone’s name while being with you so I want you to be with me as her substitute", he said.

Substitute? Am I hearing right? Did he just say substitute?

I can’t believe there will be a time I will get to hear this.

"Substitute?" I asked.

"Yeah I’ve been in love with a girl for so freaking long but she is beyond my approach. I tried dating many times but nothing worked out. When I want someone to be with her they start being clingy which is making me feel nauseous so I want you to be the one."

Ha, what a coincidence again. We are kind of similar in many ways. I too fell in love with that guy I met years ago but my realisation was too late making me lose him. I thought there would be a time I could meet him but that never happened while I became the worst kind of girl he could ever look at.

"Why is it me?" I asked.

"Don’t you have something which you don’t want to express?" He asked but I can’t believe he hit the nail at the right spot.

"Ok done but don’t expect any string attached when I could never return your love", I said looking straight in his eye.

"I was about to say the same", he said with a smile.

"Ok so let me introduce myself. I’m Xenon Carter and you...."

"It’s Ayla White", I replied and shook hands as the start of a new substitute relationship.

I have no idea why I agree with this or why I’m doing this but my heart is making me feel weird as if I had long forgotten the feelings and now it is slowly returning to me. It is hurting but it is feeling good as well. What is it?

Ayla, have you finally lost the string which kept tying your emotions at the right spot?

"So want to have a drink?" He approached.

"Sure", I agreed and followed him without caring about my class.

My feet kept following him in a rhythm. don’t know why? But I couldn’t stop. That is how we ended up in a local bar where still customers are filled here and there.

We walked toward a corner table and he ordered a drink. To be honest I have no idea how the drink’s name is made or which drink is too high and which has low but every time I come I always take one’s recommendation and order. This time Xenon is the one who is recommending it to me.

"So what’s your story?" He asked while I was off guard.

"Story? What story?" I asked.

"I know here is something going on inside you", he said while I took a sip.

But to be honest, every time I drink I still feel it’s new for me. The bitter taste kept burning my throat and in a second I got drunk and I’m sure this is what is happening with me now also.

I shouldn’t have come here.

"Hey, what made you think again?" He asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Ah notthinggg", I sound drunk.

Here we go again.

"Oh you are drunk", he chuckled. But he looks hell beautiful when he laughs. Am I dreaming or is it just an illusion that kept splashing in front of my eyes.

"No I m nottt drrrunkkkk", I said.

"You asked meee myyy stttorrryyy righhttt?"

"Let me tell youuuu myyy story", I said.

"You know there was someone who I fell in love with when I was a teen", I said.

"I don’t know what happened? I don’t know how things went but before I could realise I was able to date the guy but soon I found out he wasn’t in love with me but my brother made him act with me as he thought it was a childish act.... Isn’t it funny?"

I laughed like a maniac.

"Hey, you are drunk. Let’s go home", he said and tried to help me get up when I stopped him.

"No, I will say my storrryyy. I have to sayyy."

"I saw that guy kiss my cousin when he was pretending to be with me. Do you know how big that betrayal was? My entire family betrayed me. Like my entire family. But I knew it was all my fault. If I only would have realized my feelings a bit sooner then I shouldn’t have made those mistakes."

"I could have told the guy that I wasn’t in love with him but someone else who I treated very badly."

"I could have hugged him and said I love him ."

"But I was too late."

"Every time I regret being like this but I was just a stupid clingy person who always choose the wrong option when what is right for me always kept lying right in front of me."

Tears came out of my eyes.

"Ayla, it’s ok. Don’t keep all those burdens", he patted my head making me assured but my heart is in so much pain. I feel as if I’m dying.

I want to hold this person and call his name again and again.

I want to call Aaron.

I want Aaron to come to me and love me the way I love him. I want him to cup my face and kiss my lips without stopping and make me drown in my desire for him.

I want him to carry and circle his fingers all over me and keep whispering my names near my ear claiming me as his.

But it’s all in my thoughts.

I don’t even know where he is now.

I m such a stupid dumbass.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by Aunomay