Chapter 38: 38

"Yeah, I loved you always", I said while he made me wrap my legs around his waist.

He didn’t stop even for a second, calling my names as if he was chanting my name like a mantra.

"Ayla,"

"Ayla,"

"Ayla,"

It keeps on going even though I have an idea of what the morning is going to bring for me. Still, I went with him.

It made me feel as if I’m the one he loves like crazy. It is making me feel as if the way his heart kept on beating is not for another Ayla but it was me all along, driving me crazy. Still, it is nothing but an illusion for me. I hope I could say.

His fingers kept on trailing on my body. He didn’t skip even an inch like yeah he didn’t leave a single place starting with kissing the back of my neck and sucking till it turned hell red claiming his territory.

"Yeah, Mine", as expected.

"This place is mine."

"This beautiful wrist is mine as well."

"Damn, just how long I was craving just to get to be with you, Ayla?"

"It’s been freaking long. I couldn’t even express my wait for you."

"It has been five years since I last saw you. I never thought I could make myself alive without you, but I did. Yeah, I built myself strong enough to come and express my feelings for you all over again, but today when I opened my eyes, I didn’t know you were standing in front of me the way I last saw you." I have no clue what he is saying, but his narrative of his feelings is soothing as if I could be in this arm forever.

"Why did you have to choose him, not me?"

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Why?"

"I didn’t choose anyone", I said to calm myself down, but it was only the opposite.

"Yeah, you did. You did choose him over me when he always took whatever I wanted."

"That bastard is always after my things."

Bastard?

"That bastard takes away all the favourite people I want to be with, even you."

"But I won’t let you go anywhere. I won’t let anyone get away from me anymore." He said and fell asleep above me.

Ha, what am I even doing? Babysitting? Or am I just trash for holding unpleasant emotions? I don’t know, but my heart is in pain. How I wish I could stop thinking about everything and the time stop. I don’t want anything else to happen to me anymore.

"Umm, Ayla", Xenon mumbled.

"Yeah, Ayla, but maybe this Ayla is none of your use, but will be a substitute for the rest of her life," I said and walked toward the window when I heard my phone ring.

I walked toward the table and saw it was dad.

"Yeah, I need to face it any time," I said to myself.

"Hey, dad", I said while waiting for him to answer.

"Ayla, is it you?"

"Yes, dad it’s me," I replied.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I’m all good", my throat trembled.

"But you don’t sound good", he said while I tried to calm myself down.

"No, dad it’s all good," I smiled.

"Oh, it is good then....

"Yeah"

There was an awkward silence between us when he said, "Baby, you want to say something?"

"Say? About what?"

"You didn’t tell me what happened that day but you were crying when we went inside. So, is there anything you want to say?"

"Ask? Ha dad, did you even bother to ask me back there when I was crying? If not, then why now?"

"Baby, what are you saying? You know that situation was bad. Do you want me to stand there and argue for you when Yona was dying? Didn’t you see how much blood kept on coming out of her body?" he said, making me clench my fist.

"When did I say that you need to stand for me when Yona was bleeding?"

"Or you forget how everyone blamed me for Yona’s accident when we were in the hospital?"

"Or did you even forget that I exist?"

"Tell me, dad!!!!"

"Why are you silent?"

I kept on waiting while the other side was silent as hell.

"Baby, it is not....

"Then what is it, dad?"

"Tell me, what do you want to explain? I’m here and waiting for you to answer as well."

"The th-

"Why stop again?"

There was a long pause again, making me frustrated.

"If you can’t, let me ask you a question."

"The way Jace said that my nature doesn’t match you or anyone in the family. I don’t look like you all. I don’t behave like you all, so how could I be a part of your family? You heard that, right? Then tell me, what am I? Am I your family?"

Yeah, I said it.

"Ayla, stop saying that!!!!" his voice was loud.

"Why?"

"I told you to stop, which means you should stop."

"You know I never made rules for you. I never told you to do things on my way, but you should never say this type of thing to me. Not now, not never. You will not as you are not allowed, got it?"

His voice was stern, which I never heard before.

"Why?"

"Explain to me first why?"

"I said no means no, and it’s final. No more argument", he said and hung up on me, leaving me all clueless.

"Why does he say that I can’t bring up this topic?"

"Why? Can’t I when I need to know things too?"

"If whatever Yona said is true, then I have all the right to know about him and about my adoption, too."

I let out my phone again and dialled Yona’s number.

It took time, but she picked up.

"Whoa, Ayla, you really called? I can’t believe you really called me at this late night," she said with all the excitement in her voice.

"Don’t get too excited and explain to me what you said that day," I asked.

"I know you didn’t call me because you want to know about my health or whatever, nor I’m too affectionate toward you too so you don’t need to be so cocky," she said.

"Tell me!!!"

"What?"

"You know what?"

"And it won’t let your reputation down if you just call yourself the adopted child." She said, making me growl in anger.

"I know how you are burning with anger, but that is what makes me happy. Because you and I are the same but not anymore because I’m their blood relative but you are only their daughter in front of all but in reality, you are not even from their blood. So sad, I really pity you know," I clenched my fist.

"Stop it!!!!"

"Why? Isn’t it what you wanted to know?"

"If I really told you the truth or not?"

I stayed silent.

"Don’t worry, check your emails. I sent you a document and you will know everything," she said, making my palm all cold.

"Don’t be scared. I know you won’t get a heart attack but will have a reality check which will be good for your shitty attitude and make you feel who can be their daughter and sister and who will never," she said and hung up on me while my hand was already trembling so much.

Should I check the mail or not?

Should I really?

My fingertips were turning cold with sweat when I opened the mail and a picture popped out of my screen making me thud on the floor.

Yeah, she was right. It was the adoption paper where I can see my name clearly and my dad’s name too, but there is no other name because I really didn’t have parents.

Why?

Why did I call her to get a reality check when I know it will hurt me fucking so crazy?

Why!!!!!!!!!!

"Ayla, you are really not their daughter?"

"Is that why they never believed you?"

"Is it why your brother once said you are taking his father’s love?"

"Is it really my fault?"

"No, no, it can’t be."

I again kept hearing those voices.

"Is she really an illegitimate child?"

"Who knows, as she looks nothing like her brother, nor does she have the attitude like her brother."

"Yeah, she must be an illegitimate child."

"Yeah illegitimate child"

"Illegitimate child"

"Illegitimate child"

Stop it!!!!

I don’t want to hear anything anymore.

Just shut it!!!!!!!

Still, I kept on hearing their voices, which is painful. I’m still standing in the middle of the hall when two hands brought me to his hand, hiding my face, and covering my ears while those hands kept on patting my back.

What is it?

It looks so real.

It looks as if I experienced something like this long ago and forgotten.

Is it really my illusion again or is it, really?

"I’m here so don’t be scared," he whispered in my ear.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by Aunomay