Chapter 157: His past (part 1)

He smiled into her hair and whispered softly, "Which would you prefer, one word or a phrase?"

"Don’t be so smug. I happen to know more about sex and relationship than you’d think, I’ve read a lot about it."

"Then what’s the problem?" Neil chuckled, but her answer banished his laughter, stopped his breath, and melted his heart completely.

"Somehow," she said, thoughtfully studying her hand that was resting on his lap, "the term sexual intercourse seems all wrong to describe our relationship, and it feels wrong to describe something that is so... so sweet when we do it. And so deep. And so profound..."

Neil leaned his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes, steadying himself, wondering why she had this insane effect on him. Never in all of his adult life had he felt this way towards any woman but her, and never would he had thought a day would come when he’d give a name to a relationship with a woman. In the past, he’d tried his best to avoid having any relationship that has any name other than a casual fling. But today, he was going against another one of his principles by thinking of a name for their relationship; a name that would sit well with Mia and make her happy.

A moment later, he managed to say in a semiformal voice, "How does the term lovers sound to your?"

"Lovers," she agreed, nodding her head several times, "I like that." She smiled, suppressing the happiness that surged through her blood at that name. Then she continued to say, "What I was trying to explain earlier is that even though we’ve been lovers, I don’t really know anything about you."

"You know everything about me," he said, subconsciously playing with her hair, "everyone in the country does. There’s nothing more to know."

Mia frowned her brows, "I don’t. Other than the fact that you are Neil Wayner, I know nothing about your real life." She argued.

"What would you like to know then?"

"Well, for a start, is Neil Wayner your real name, or did you change it when you joined the military?"

"I legally changed my name when I joined the military. Neil Wayner was given to me by my Uncle." He informed, despite the fact that he didn’t want to speak to her about his past nor anything about his life then.

"Really?" She turned her head, her soft cheek rubbing against his arm as she looked up at him. Even with his eyes closed, he could feel her watching him, see her curious smile, and while he waited for the inevitable question he knew was coming next, he remembered other things about her.

’How dare you ever suggest I would even consider telling anyone you raped me!’ She’d said to him outside. And he’d felt like he’d won a jackpot when she’d said those words to him. Did she even have any idea how much she’d been turning him crazy for the past few days? He thought, but her soft voice intruded his thoughts.

"What was your real name before you changed it to Neil?" She asked.

It was exactly the question Neil had expected, the one he’d never answered for anyone, but before he could stop himself, he told her. "Xavier Galverra."

Mia heard the name but she didn’t register it at first until she’d almost asked him another question before she realized the familar name he’d mentioned. Slowly but gradually, realization dawned on her.

"Xavier Galverra..." She muttered softly, looking up onto his face, "It was you all along. You are Mr. Galverra, the mysterious CEO, and the same person who’d sponsored my education in Ivy Grove. Why did you hide your identity as Xavier?"

Mia saw the tension in his jaw at her question, and when he opened his eyes, she was stunned by the harsh expression in them.

"It’s a long story," he said shortly.

"Oh," she said, and knew immediately that it was an unpleasant enough story to him that it was best left completely alone for the time being. The last thing she wanted was to ruin his mood, he’d hidden his identity as Mr. Galverra for a reason, and since he wasn’t in the mood to discuss that, she decided not to push the topic despite the curiousity eating at her soul.

Instead, she said the first thing that came to mind to distract him and lighten his mood: "I already know a lot of things about both your identities, I know that you joined the military at a young age, and I know that the Galverra Enterprises did well even when you didn’t personally run the company on a full-time. So, it’s enough for me to know that you are a hard-working man."

Neil looked down at her, he was well aware that she had set aside her natural curiosity about his "long story," and it warmed the chill that had come over him when he’d had to think of his past.

"You must be one of those nosy journalists who dug into my personal life as Neil and Xavier, aren’t you?" he teased.

Mia nodded guiltily, pleased and relieved that her change of topic had worked so quickly. "Because of my research, I already know you grew up on your own in the camp as Neil, and I know that you are portrayed as a hideous man as Xavier Galverra__the man with a Spanish accent...did I just say something funny?" She asked when she noticed the amusement in his gray eyes.

"At the risk of ruining all your illusions, princess," Neil said, chuckling, "those things were all products of your people’s__the journalist overactive imagination. And you heard for yourself, I have no accent, nor do I look hideous."

Mia laughed, amused by his confidence, and her infectious laughter rang out like music in Neil’s head, lightening his heart as she shifted on the sofa to face him, pulling her knees up against her chest. Wrapping her arms around them, she studied him in fascinated absorption.

"Once upon a time, I used to know a girl like you in the past." he teased, reaching for his wine glass on the table, trying to distract her from asking the next inevitable question about himself by changing the subject.

"And you remind me so much of her, your laughter, smile, and dimples. I could have sworn you were her until you told me you didn’t grow up in Mirage Mesa." He said, sipping his wine and studying her expression through the glass.

"I... I also know a boy like you." She muttered softly looking lost for a moment.

Neil stopped in the act of swallowing his drink. "What?"

She looked up at him, startled at the fact that she’d said those words out, but seeing his confused frown, she felt the need to explain what she meant to him, "I mean, I also know a boy like you in my dreams. Not actually like you, but your eyes are the same. You might think me weird but... sometimes, I feel like I’ve lived another life before, and I had a crush on a boy with gray eyes, which made sense on the fact that I’m obsessed with gray eyes now."

Neil was so surprised, he missed the laughter in her entrancing brown eyes. "How?"

She shrugged, "I don’t know. It’s a strange feeling. Five years ago, before I met you, I once had a dream where I was hiding behind a tree staring at a gray eyed boy, sitting on a white swing with a little girl, who’s face was exactly like mine, playing a guitar, and since I don’t remember such a scene happening in this lifetime, it must have occurred in a past life. It made me wonder if I had a crush on someone with gray eyes in a previous life, or if my mind is simply inventing things, as it tends to do."

Neil felt it happening again, that peculiar sharp tug on his heart, the funny ache in his chest whenever she smiled like that. "So do you believe that your mind is making up stuff?" He asked, trying his best not to tell her that everything she spoke of had happened in this lifetime and that she’d somehow lost those memories due to something unknown to both of them. He wanted to tell her that they’d indeed sat on a white swing where he’d taught her how to play the guitar and sing a song, but then he held back not knowing what that would cause to her mental health when she didn’t remember it as something she’d lived and experienced.

"I’m not sure. My therapist mentioned schizophrenia," she chuckled bitterly, her gaze shifting to her bent knees. To steer the conversation in a different direction, she asked, "What about you? What happened to the girl you mentioned I reminded you of?"

"My younger self made a silly vow to marry her when he’s older," he said softly, "but she vanished from his life before he’d grown into a man and make her his."

"You mean she was your childhood sweetheart?" She asked with widened eyes, and when he nodded his head and said, "Something like that. " Her fist clenched on the blanket around her knees.

Though it was something his younger self had said, Mia couldn’t help the little jealousy that rose up to her heart at the realization that he had a childhood sweetheart who he’d vowed to marry when he grew older. Could that be the reason he wasn’t willing to open up to the thought of loving another woman? She wondered silently, because she’d heard and read in novels where some men were never able to move on from their childhood sweetheart regardless of the time that passed away.

"So I remind you of her?" She asked, and when he nodded his head again, she hid her hurt behind a laughter that didn’t reach her eyes.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by Aunomay Read