Chapter 141: 141 — Her Final Decision (The End)

"I had to marry you. As a princess, it was my duty to protect my people from harm," she said quietly. "The king left me no choice but to end the war between our kingdoms. Isn’t it laughable? I wanted to escape this hell at all costs, but I had to come back. I needed to avenge my parents, who were killed by King Valerian and Queen Isabella."

Lucian stared at her, stunned by her candidness. Both the Cynthia from his dreams and the one before him now seemed to share an unflinching honesty that left him reeling.

"Oh, don’t look at me like that," she scoffed, her tone sharp.

"Like what?.." Lucian blinked, puzzled by her words.

"I hate you too."

Her voice was firm, but Lucian couldn’t detect any true malice in it. He knew hatred intimately. He had faced it all his life and her words weren’t her true feelings.

"I wanted to deny that the person in those dreams was me," he said, his voice heavy. "But I’ve never felt so connected to anything else. Those memories, as painful as they are, feel real. And if they are, then I owe you an apology... for everything I did to you. I wouldn’t forgive myself either."

"So you admit it—you were heartless to me, Your Highness."

"Yes," Lucian said quietly. "I was. But... What else could I do? I had grown within the palace walls and on the battlefield, away from every social norm. Away from anyone who could teach me how to handle my emotions... I could merely remain calm and... ignore it," his words laced with anger and pain.

He paused for a moment before continuing.

"Ignore everything... Even the times when I looked into your eyes, I felt bewitched, powerless. And if you had asked me to commit a murder, I would’ve done it without question. I couldn’t control myself... or my feelings."

Cynthia bit her lip, her composure wavering. His words cut deep because they mirrored her feelings.

No matter how much she claimed to hate him, her heart betrayed her, stirring at the mere sight of him. She had buried all her affection for him deep within herself, but she hadn’t realized when it began to surface once more.

Perhaps it was when she realized he might never return, letting the demon take full control of his body forever. Or maybe it was the moments they spent together—something they had never done in their past life—causing her feelings to waver...

"Yes, I hated you when we married," he admitted, a shaky sigh escaping him. "I wanted to kill you. Even in this life. But as time passed... you never hurt me like the others did. You didn’t lash out. You didn’t make my life miserable like everyone else in the capital or the palace. And yet, I took it out on you. You made my cold, empty world feel alive."

Cynthia’s nails dug into her palms as she fought back tears. She wanted to believe she was the only one who suffered. But that wasn’t true anymore. Lucian had been enduring his torment for a long time as well.

"The mansion that felt like a tomb turned into a heaven simply because of your presence—a heaven I didn’t deserve. And I was afraid."

Cynthia frowned, confused.

Lucian?

Afraid?

The man who stood unyielding in the face of anything?

"Afraid that if I got too close, you’d be dragged into my hell. The hell I have lived into for the past decades," he said, his voice cracking. "I pulled away because I knew my enemies wouldn’t stop. They’d hurt you just to destroy me. They’d take away everything I could ever..."

He hesitated, his throat tightening.

"...love."

The word left his lips in a broken whisper, his gaze falling to the floor. His heart thundered in his chest, threatening to escape.

When he finally looked up, tears streamed down Cynthia’s face.

Panic gripped him, and he rose from his seat, kneeling before her. He reached for her hand and pressed a gentle kiss to its back, his voice trembling.

"You can punish me as much as you want. But... Please... Please, don’t leave me too." His grip around her hand tightened as a child would cling to their favourite when the time to part would approach.

Cynthia couldn’t bring herself to speak. She knew he had suffered too, but she had chosen to ignore it, convincing herself his pain didn’t matter simply because he hid it better than she did.

Her hand trembled as she looked at him, her voice unsteady.

"Then... what do you want me to do?"

Slowly, she placed her hand over Lucian’s, her touch hesitant yet searching for something—an answer, perhaps, or a shred of solace amidst their shared turmoil.

Lucian’s breath hitched at the touch of her hand on his. He didn’t deserve her warmth, yet he clung to it like a lifeline. He looked up, his gaze locking with hers.

"Stay," he whispered. "Don’t leave. Not now, not ever. I don’t care what we’ve been through—what I’ve done—what you’ve done— I just..." His voice broke, and he took a shaky breath. "I just want to fix this. I don’t know how, but I’ll do whatever it takes."

Cynthia’s heart ached at his plea, the vulnerability in his voice cutting through her anger and bitterness. Her hand traced his warm left cheek, gently reaching for his tear-filled eyes before coming to rest on his skin.

She had hated him for so long, yet now, as he knelt before her, she saw the man beneath the mask—the one who had suffered as much as she had, perhaps even more.

"You think it’s that simple?" she asked, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and despair. "You think just saying you want to fix this will undo everything? The pain, the loss, the hatred, the anguish of several years—everything?"

Lucian shook his head.

"No. I wouldn’t dare. I know it’s not simple. I know I can’t undo what’s been done. But I can start over. We can start over."

He tightened his grip on her hand, as if afraid she might slip away. "We’ve already been given a second chance—don’t let it go to waste."

Cynthia hesitated, her mind racing with memories of their past lives and the anguish they had endured. But amidst the pain, there were flashes of something else—moments of warmth, of love, of a connection that defied time.

"I don’t know if I can forgive you," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Then don’t," Lucian said, his voice firm. "Not yet. Take your time. Hate me if you need to. But let me stay by your side. Let me prove to you that I can be different from those dreams— nightmares— our past life. That I can be the man you deserve."

Tears streamed down Cynthia’s face as she stared at him.

Could she let go of her hatred one day? Could she allow herself to hope for something better?

Finally, she nodded, her voice trembling.

"How can I leave you when I’ve only ever known to hate you for all these years? If I stop hating you, I’m afraid I will no longer have a purpose to live. "

Lucian’s heart soared at her words. He rose to his feet, pulling her into his arms.

"One day, you will tell me that you love me just as much as I love you. And at that time, you will mean it."

As Cynthia rested her head against his chest, she felt the steady rhythm of his heartbeat—a rhythm that matched her own.

For the first time, she allowed herself to believe that maybe— just maybe, they could heal.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by Aunomay Read