Chapter 63: 63 — What Have You Lost?

"That woman... you like her, don’t you?"

Stupefied by her strange question, Lucian paused for a second, trying to recall which woman she might be referring to. But no one came to mind. He hadn’t been close to any woman since returning to Selvarys.

"Who are you talking about?"

"...that blonde lady," Cynthia sighed, placing her hand on her cheek, as if she were brushing her hair off her face, only to wipe away the sticky liquid on her skin.

"Why..." Lucian paused, inhaling deeply.

Was that the reason why she was crying? His heartbeat froze for a moment before he shook his head.

That’s impossible.

He told himself, a faint, cold smile forming on his lips. The idea of her crying because she was afraid he might leave... it wasn’t something he hated. In fact, he didn’t mind seeing her hurt. But he’d never dare show that. Not when it could complicate matters with the kings of Selvarys and Eldoria.

"Your Highness, do you hate me?" Cynthia asked, her voice almost a whisper as she turned her head to look up at the taller man seated beside her.

That question again...

Lucian let out a soft sigh. His gaze traced over her amethyst eyes, then to her soft lips, before shifting to the delicate curve of her body wrapped in the white dress he had bought for her. She didn’t look bad. If anything, she looked too good for the role she was cast in. No man would openly admit to hating her.

"It’s not as simple as love or hatred," he said slowly, watching her reaction carefully.

Cynthia clenched a hand into another, her gaze locked onto his emerald eyes, which showed no sign of emotion—as if he wasn’t looking at her at all, but at something beyond her. She couldn’t decipher what it was. Could it be contempt? Bitterness after the war? Or something worse?

"Your Highness—" She began, but Lucian cut her off, his voice dropping a notch.

"There are things that can’t be forgotten or forgiven just because time passed. Sometimes, no matter what a person does, no matter how far they run... they’ll always carry the memory of what they’ve lost," he murmured, almost to himself.

Lucian’s words sent a shiver down Cynthia’s spine. She wanted to comfort him, to reach out, but her conscience held her back. There was something dangerous in his tone, a resentment that warned her to stay away.

"And what have you lost?" she asked cautiously, tearing her gaze away from him, for fear of what he might see in her eyes if she held it for too long.

Lucian’s lips curled slightly—a mocking, self-deprecating smile.

"Your knights," he said abruptly but then stopped as if catching himself.

The silence that followed was heavy as if something was crushing Cynthia from above. Her breath caught as she stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

"My knights?" she pressed her hands against her thighs nervously.

"It’s nothing. Don’t pay attention to what I just said," Lucian replied curtly, shutting down the conversation with a flicker of irritation.

Cynthia turned away, pretending to watch the scenery that blurred outside the carriage. But her mind raced.

It was the first time he’d given her a glimpse of his reasons for hating her. And she knew, now more than ever, that if she wanted this marriage to work—to get the revenge she craved—she would need to uncover the truth behind Lucian’s hatred.

If not... she would forever remain the woman he despised, even in this lifetime.

***

A few days had passed since they returned to Erion, and Lucian had been acting as if nothing had happened between them. Not the night they nearly crossed all boundaries, nor the conversation they had on their way back.

However, Cynthia could sense that something had changed. He wasn’t avoiding her as much, and they had been having dinner together every now and then, even if it wasn’t regular.

Cynthia was sitting in the garden as she contemplated the withering flowers and trees. It was now fall, and soon she needed to leave for Eldoria. She was unsure, however, if Lucian would attend her brother’s wedding with her. She had received a response to her letter, and Alistair had asked her to bring Lucian with her since he was now also a member of their family and his presence would be very much appreciated.

"He surely meant that if your relationship is going well, then shouldn’t you bring him?" Cynthia mumbled, a chuckle escaping her mouth as she took a sip of her tea.

Isn’t it amazing when your food isn’t spiked at all? I should meet those people when I get to Eldoria and tell them to come up with new ways to kill me. Wait... I sound crazy thinking like this.

"Your Highness," Anni and Hilda rushed up behind Cynthia.

"What is it?"

"Well... we somehow managed to make the butler talk about His Highness, as you asked. And it seems like the Grand Duke’s mother was killed during the war between Eldoria and Selvarys in Tervland," Anni said.

"I also verified with the head maid, and the story is the same. I doubt they could both make up a story like that since they don’t seem to get along much," Hilda confirmed Anni’s statement.

"So, it’s related to his mother’s death..." Cynthia placed the cup of tea she held onto the table, thinking deeply.

"Alright... thank you," she smiled at them. "Also, Anni, you said your mother was sick, right? Take this and sell it somewhere. Use it to see a physician," Cynthia took off one of her rings and handed it to the young girl.

"Y-Your Highness, I really appreciate your kindness, however..."

"Take it. It’s an order," Cynthia commanded, though her voice remained soft.

With a flushed smile, Anni took the ring, bowing to the Grand Duchess, her delight obvious. A huge burden was lifted from her shoulders.

"As for you, Hilda, this is to pay for your sister’s magic academy fees," Cynthia said, taking out another ring.

"B-But Your Highness, I can manage this much. Please don’t—" she halted once she felt the Grand Duchess take her hand and open it, placing the ring inside her palm.

"It’s my way of showing gratitude. You won’t refuse it, right? I’m merely helping you because you both help me a lot as well. Isn’t it only fair?"

The two maids nodded, unable to deny the fact, yet their hearts warmed, faces flushed, almost to the point of tears. They didn’t expect the woman they once hated so much to actually care for them and even look out for their needs.

They were glad to be able to serve her, unlike those who bluntly spread bad rumors about her throughout the country. They couldn’t understand how such a kindhearted, angel-like lady could be called vile and cruel.

"Are you going to cry?" Cynthia teasingly asked, noticing their teary complexions.

Anni, who felt a tear slip from her eyes, shook her head quickly, wiping it away.

"O-Of course not!" the two maids replied in unison.

Cynthia let out a loud laugh, almost unable to control it. She was delighted to be able to make at least a few people happier in this life. In the past, she would have been too scared to even interact with anyone in the mansion. Everyone seemed to hate her, and perhaps they did because she never tried to prove herself—or rather, because she was never given a chance by anyone. But because she decided to take matters into her own hands, it seemed as if the mansion’s atmosphere had changed. From the isolating, cold, and scary place it had been, it had turned warmer, where everyone would respectfully bow to her and speak politely. Yet something still felt empty inside her chest, but she wasn’t able to identify it.

"It seems like you are having a good time," Lucian’s voice was heard from behind.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by Aunomay Read