Chapter 87: 87 — A Part of His Choas

"Do you need something, Your Highness? Should I send Philip? Or even better, why don’t I send your favourite Elise?"

Hearing Cynthia’s voice lingering with a sarcastic tone, Lucian narrowed his eyes, clenching his fist to control his anger.

"My what?" He scoffed, letting out a heavy breath to hide his fury caused by her absurd words.

"You heard me. I will send Elise since she has been with you since childhood. She must know you better than anyone else," Cynthia replied, not caring if it came off rude.

After all, he was the one who started to blame her without any logic behind his words. How could Princess Arisia have gotten into trouble when he was the one who was with her while Cynthia was away when he decided to part ways with the princess? He should have been the one to blame yet he put the blame on her!

"I—" Lucian lifted his hand to stop her; however, he halted once he realized she didn’t want to speak to him.

She was the one always rushing after him, to get a chance to speak with him however, now it seemed the table had turned.

For the next few days, Cynthia continued to ignore Lucian, brushing off every remark he made during their dinner with Princess Arisia, which subtly hinted at their situation. That was their only time together, as they both needed to address the chaos caused by the demon’s appearance at the market. The commoners who worked there, having lost their loved ones, blamed the Grand Duke and his knights for failing to protect the land, as the king had promised when they took ownership of it from Count Gionhard.

Although they had little say in the matter, the king had paid them a substantial sum to keep quiet and allow Lucian to take over their land. They agreed, knowing he was the one who fought in the war and returned victorious, allowing them to sleep peacefully. But that peace was shattered when a demon appeared at the marketplace, despite it being near the forest, where demons had been sighted even during the day, constantly threatening the area.

Hearing the clinking sound of forks against the plates, Lucian snapped out of his thoughts. He needed to speak with the grand duchess and clear things between them before they would fight the commoners who demanded an explanation from them.

"Your Highness, we need to speak," Lucian finally spoke, clasping his hands into one another as he looked at her, who was seated at the edge of the dining table.

"Then, I’ll leave," Arisia quickly exited the dining room. Once she stood in the hallway, she let out a deep breath.

"They are being so... I came here for some peace, however, this place isn’t as peaceful as I believed it would be," she whispered, shaking her head in disappointment.

"What is it that you wish to tell me?" Cynthia asked, nonchalantly biting on her steak, keeping her gaze on her plate.

She doesn’t even want to look at me, does she?

Lucian wondered, his jaw tightening however, he inhaled deeply. Getting upset and behaving immaturely like her wouldn’t help them. He was surely older than her by age so he needed to be the one to fix things between them.

The dark-haired man gasped at his very thought.

Why am I suddenly so desperate to fix things between us? They should remain as they are... It’s not like it would make a difference, right?

"If you have nothing to say, I shall take my leave."

Hearing her cold and distant reply, Lucian slicked his hair to the back with a sigh.

"I apologise."

Cynthia let out a soft scoff, her ears felt ticklish upon hearing his apology. Did he think one apology would fix everything between them?

Hearing her scoff, Lucian lifted his gaze to meet hers.

"What’s funny?"

"Why are you apologizing?"

"For losing my temper at the market and being disrespectful towards you."

"You think a simple apology will fix everything?" Cynthia’s voice wavered, the anger she had been holding back slipping into her tone. "Do you even understand why I’m angry, or is this just about clearing your conscience?"

Lucian frowned, his hands tightening on the edge of the table.

"I’m simply trying to make things right. We agreed to—"

"Right?" Cynthia scoffed again, finally looking up to meet his gaze. "You’ve never cared about making things right between us. You only care when it affects you, Your Highness. The demon, the commoners, this land—you don’t want chaos to touch you because you simply love peace, and now I’m just another part of that chaos, aren’t I? After all, the reason you even married me was because you wanted peace between both kingdoms. Otherwise, would you ever consider marrying me, the princess of a kingdom you?—"

Cynthia paused, taking a deep breath. He never told her about his hatred opening. Not in this lifetime. She was the one who did her investigation. Telling him more would only cause him to be more suspicious of her.

No longer hearing her speak, Lucian opened his mouth, trying to speak, but no words came. She was right. He only cared about peace. He didn’t want another war to break out. He didn’t want to see his companions die before his eyes as he helplessly watched them take their last breaths.

Not again.

But, was that the only thing that mattered now? Was that the only reason he wished to make things right between him and Cynthia? Because he feared another war?

He couldn’t quite find the answer no matter how deep he searched within him. He sighed looking down, trying to compose himself as he intertwined his fingers. He wasn’t sure as to why he was apologizing in the first place. All he knew was things couldn’t go on like this.

Cynthia stared at him who kept his gaze lowered. It had been a while since he avoided eye contact with her. And it wasn’t like him to remain in a silent place for too long. He would have risen from his chair and left the hall long ago.

However, seeing him take the time to think, Cynthia couldn’t help but feel her heart racing. Her mind began to cloud with questions.

Where did the man she knew go? The arrogant one, the one who would hurt her in every way possible, and the one who didn’t care to reflect on his mistakes?

Her fingers tightened on the edge of the table. She wasn’t sure if she was more frustrated by his silence or the fact that her heart was betraying her—fluttering at the thought that maybe, just maybe, this time he felt something for her. Something she had been waiting for— the first step to ruin the man she once loved.

Taking another deep breath, Lucian looked up slowly meeting Cynthia’s gaze who seemed to have been stuck on his face all this time.

"Look, C-Cynthia... I mean it when I say I’m sorry..." Lucian barely managed to say. It took all his effort alone to say her name. He wasn’t used to it but he had no choice if he really wanted to get his apology across.

Cynthia looked at him a bit startled. Not even in her past life did he ever call her name much less apologize for his actions. She wasn’t sure what he was about to say and part of her wanted to run away before she could even hear it. Yet, her body froze, painfully betraying her.

"I know my absence upset you. I gave you my word that we would meet that day and I intend to keep it. However, everything happened so quickly and it slipped my mind... although that isn’t an excuse to not keep my word," Lucian stated resolutely, yet he turned his face away not being able to meet her gaze.

He still couldn’t come to terms with the words he was uttering. But he knew she needed to hear them to know that he didn’t mean to hurt her.

Not this time.

As if all the courage left him, he quickly got up from the table, turning away from her completely and heading for the door. As much as he wanted to apologize, he wasn’t still mentally ready for it yet. He stated what he needed to say.

This should mean something to her, right?

Cynthia sat there as if she wasn’t part of the conversation but an onlooker watching from far away. She still couldn’t believe he apologized to her. Just then, the click of the door handle brought her back to reality.

"I hope you have a pleasant night, Your Highness," Lucian quickly said as he took one last look at her before vanishing behind the closed door.

Cynthia let out a soft chuckle, then she burst into laughter.

"Ah," she sighed, her laughter fading in an instant, her cold and emotionless complexion returning. "Your Highness... why do you always do this to me?"

Feeling liquid fall on her fists, Cynthia slowly lifted her trembling hands, touching her face. Realization struck her— she was crying.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by Aunomay Read