Chapter 86: 84 | Scum

"Are you insane now?!" Eliot retorted at Winter’s arrogant words.

Winter didn’t so much as flinch after being yelled at. He still stood his ground and continued to exude pheromones that were even more pungent and suffocating.

"I’m not insane. You two might be. You guys claim to ’care for’ Blue, but all I’ve ever seen you two do is make problems for him and annoy him. Every single time when you guys talk to him on the phone, what does he tell you? Isn’t it ’leave me alone’ or ’don’t ever call me again?’

"Yet you two refuse to listen to him, doing whatever you want to do because you can. It’s disgusting the kind of ’care’ you show to Blue. And it’s also not needed." Winter vented.

The two Kent brothers were staring at him with narrowed eyes, barely able to restrain themselves from punching Winter in the face.

"Do you think you’re in a position to lecture us? Have you looked at your own black materials before pointing out another person’s?" Atlas said to Winter with a chilling tone.

Winter stiffened but recovered his composure quickly as he said, "Can you see how unwilling you are to do the bare things expected of you? Was I talking about myself? All I was talking about was your behavior towards Blue. It seems like you don’t want to listen and can only find a way to drag me down with you.

"But let me make something clear to the both of you—I am not like you. I would never stand by and watch my own blood suffer so much without doing anything to help them."

As Winter said those words, the faces of Atlas and Eliot hardened considerably. Winter guessed that he’d struck an important nerve. So he decided to ride on it.

"How can you two live with yourselves knowing full well of the things that were done to Blue when he was younger? And how was your father able to do the same? Do you think Blue is obnoxious for hating your family now that he’s by himself?

"You think he’s disrespectful and disobedient. But let me tell you, you guys are the disrespectful ones! If I was Blue, I would have killed each of you in your sleep. You guys don’t deserve to be human beings." Winter spoke with a disgusted look on his face, directed towards the brothers.

"Stop speaking like it’s our fault! You know nothing!" Eliot still managed to defend himself despite being suppressed by Winter’s pheromones and words.

Winter felt disgusted looking at Eliot’s face. How thick-skinned must he be to still not see that he was in the wrong??

"I don’t need to know anything. I just know that you two are unworthy of being related to Blue." Winter spoke with an icy tone.

He had nothing else to say to the brothers so he picked up his things and decided to leave, slowly reducing the amount of pheromones he was releasing.

Before he left, he heard Atlas say with a small voice, "We couldn’t do anything."

Winter sneered, annoyed at the man’s sense of morals. Then Winter’s annoyance spread to himself once he discovered that Blue was not in the restroom where he said he was going to.

Winter had had an inkling that he wouldn’t be there, but it was still unexpected nonetheless. Winter was furious with himself. If only his past self had had more sense, then he wouldn’t have to clean up after him.

Winter dialed Blue’s number multiple times. After the first time when the phone rang, Winter couldn’t get through the other times. An automated voice kept telling him that the number he was trying to dial was switched off.

Winter was so pissed that he almost threw his phone on the floor. But he had to calm himself down before acting.

Winter, for the first time in a long time, didn’t know how to fix the things that were going wrong in his life.

***

It was almost midnight when the door to an apartment was slowly opened. Blue, who had been sitting in the corner of his living room, cuddled into himself, didn’t know that someone had walked into his house.

Winter’s steps were slow and practiced. This was because he was afraid to make any sudden moves that could frighten Blue or turn him off.

When Winter reached Blue, he crouched down to his level and sat on the floor as well. Blue still didn’t lift his head that was in between his legs. Winter guessed that Blue was sleeping.

He was a bit annoyed at the fact that Blue was peacefully sleeping while his brain had short-circuited almost a thousand times before he was able to think straight and come here.

"Blue..." Winter called out softly, tapping Blue on the shoulder.

That contact was enough to make Blue jerk into action as he flinched and lifted his head. His eyes were red. Winter couldn’t tell if it was because Blue had been crying or because he had been sleeping.

Regardless, Winter felt that he was at fault. He didn’t let Blue say anything before he began to speak.

"I... I had a problem. I have a problem." Winter started speaking. "I don’t know why I’m this way or how to explain it and my actions. I just- I just don’t like easy things. That’s why... That’s why I did all of that in the past.

"Chasing after Omegas who had a history of never being caught successfully or the ones who felt superior to Alphas. It’s not because I had opposing views and wanted them to suffer for it. Their hatred and beliefs against Alphas, just like yours, I believed had nothing to do with me.

"I only cared about sleeping with them. I found it like a game. Oh fuck, this is messed up. I-I’m not going to lie and say that it was all done with good intentions. It wasn’t. I’m scum. I’m the world’s scummiest scummer to ever scum.

"But I swear. I swear with all my heart, I will never hurt you. I will never destroy you or make you question the things you believe in on purpose. Though... It was my plan from the start. It was why I stalked you everywhere and pretended to be someone I’m not.

"But I promise you, I don’t have those goals anymore. I don’t know how to prove it to you. I truly don’t know how to make you understand since I have such a dark past and change, change is hard. But I don’t want to hurt you. I’m willing to do everything in my capacity to keep you from getting hurt.

"And it’s not only because I like sleeping with you. I’m not going to lie yet and say that I’m senselessly in love with you, but I’m getting there. I’m getting to the point where I truly don’t know how I’d be able to survive without you. The point where when you’re not with me, my entire body itches and it feels like an important organ of mine is gone.

"I’m not trying to pressure you with my feelings. Nor am I trying to use it to excuse my past actions. I’m just saying... Fuck, what am I even saying? Oh. I’m just saying that I really like you. And I hate my past self for doing all those things that I once used to normalize.

"I’m saying that I’m willing to make an effort—a huge effort to be the person whom you won’t have to feel insecure with because of their past actions. And I’m sorry. For ever making you feel like you can’t trust or be safe with me or be yourself with me.

"I’m sorry that you hate who you are but I’m also not sorry that you are who you are. Because this version of yourself is the best and I hope that I can get to see more versions as well. Because I want to holistically know you for who you truly are, and not what you think you are." Winter finally stopped talking.

He had run out of air because of his continuous speech. And during it, Blue had not said a single word. Even now that Winter was waiting to hear from him, Blue wasn’t saying anything.

Winter thought that his life was over. He had opened his heart to Blue and—

"God... you sure do talk a lot," were the first ones that came out from Blue’s mouth after Winter’s rant.

Winter’s thought train paused after hearing Blue speak.

"I’m sorry." Winter said reflexively.

Blue rolled his eyes and tilted his head to one side before saying, "Stop apologizing so much. It’s weird."

"And your entire speech could have been summarized into a single sentence. It’s not like I didn’t know most of the information before." Blue spoke nonchalantly.

Winter’s lips parted with surprise.

"I’ve told you before," Blue said with a light smile on his lips. "You’re not as smart and deceptive as you think you are."

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by Aunomay Read