Chapter 201: Chapter 93 The Scholar Says Goodbye_2

That instant, he felt a fear of death and a longing for life.

He regretted it at that moment.

However, the arrow was already on the bowstring, how could he turn back? His last memory before dying was of himself frantically struggling and crying on the floor of the Tribute Court, the dignity of a scholar utterly gone, as if laid bare for all to witness his dying struggle.

Who knew that upon waking, he would see nothing but white mourning banners and yellow paper, outside was the familiar panicked shouting of Official Hu, the poetry society members screaming in horror, amidst the chaos of chickens flying and dogs jumping, he stood in a black coffin, dressed in a brand-new long robe, looking blankly at the golden early morning sun overhead, as if reborn.

He had come back to life.

Wu Youcai looked toward Lu Tong.

The woman stood in the middle of the medical shop, her head bowed as she tidied the scattered medical books. At that time, with the storm approaching, she had appeared in her mother’s mourning hall, speaking with seductive and chilly tones, like a bride ghost with ill intentions. Yet now, basking under the warm sun, in the quiet and clean little medicine shop, she stood there with a serene expression, as if embodying the peace of olden days.

Wu Youcai said softly, "Why would Doctor Lu give me a medicine for feigned death... Did you guess that I would use it on myself?"

Back then, when she handed over the poison to Wu Youcai, she had hinted that he could poison the main examiner of the tribute examination. But in the end, Wu Youcai withdrew. He ultimately did not wish to kill anyone, so he used the medicine on himself, harboring a tragic determination.

Yet, he did not die.

Wu Youcai never took seriously the nonsense spouted by Blind Man He—the only person he could think of was Lu Tong.

Lu Tong had tampered with the medicine.

But why would she do such a thing? Could she have already guessed that he would choose to end his own life? That was impossible, after all, even he hadn’t anticipated to make such a decision at the start.

Lu Tong casually flipped through a medical book at hand and said indifferently, "Didn’t I say it? If it were me, I would have killed him."

"But you are not me."

Wu Youcai was taken aback.

Lu Tong looked up at him and smiled slightly, "But you are not me."

Wu Youcai was not her.

This reader was honest and straightforward, no different from the majority of the poor commoners, swallowing grievances without complaint. He was unlike herself, who took revenge at the slightest grievance and was cold-hearted. How could a person who read the sages’ books, who was poor and destitute but refused to take even an extra coin from a destitute old woman selling fish, be asked to kill someone he knew nothing about? Wouldn’t it be far too cruel?

She had never expected Wu Youcai to take his own life; she merely felt that if Wu Youcai truly committed murder, not to mention how the Imperial Court would handle it later, just the endless guilt and moral anguish alone would be enough to prevent this honest man from wanting to live on.

She had used him, but she did not want him dead.

Lu Tong asked, "What about you then, do you still wish to die? What are your plans for the future?"

Wu Youcai was silent for a moment.

Perhaps because the feeling of death was too profound, after "coming back to life," Wu Youcai lay in bed and thought a lot.

He thought about his parents’ expectations when he was young, the years of arduous study through bitterly cold winters and repeated failures in examinations, and Blind Man He’s words that "Young Master will definitely become an official" kept coming back to him. He thought about a lot, a lot, until finally, looking out the window, he saw the remnants of colorful streamers on the ground in the courtyard and remembered Old Master Xun later bringing up the night of the wake, when his poetry society comrades specially arranged for him the play "The Old Scholar Becomes the Top Scholar at Eighty."

It was a comedy with a happy ending, fulfilling one’s wishes and yet, Old Master Xun wept quietly while listening.

Officialdom, after all, was just a floating golden shadow in the sky, looking splendid and radiant, yet one might very well stake an entire lifetime in pursuit of it.

Wu Youcai reined in his thoughts and looked at the woman before him.

He said, "I don’t plan on trying again."

"Why not?"

Wu Youcai smiled and said, "Actually, I came here today to say goodbye to Doctor Lu."

Lu Tong was stunned.

"There’s a Cloth Shopkeeper outside the city who wants to hire a teacher for his six-year-old daughter. Through Official Hu’s help, he got my name card. From now on, I will go to their home to teach. I’ll earn about ten pieces of silver a year, enough for me to live on."

As he spoke of these matters, his brow and eyes relaxed considerably, as if he’d suddenly unraveled many puzzles overnight. He was no longer enshrouded in the gloominess of their first meeting, but became more easy-going and untroubled.

Lu Tong was silent for a long time, then she said, "That’s good."

The Ministry of Rites was greatly shaken by this incident, and although Wu Youcai was an insignificant figure, he was after all the one who initiated everything. Although the involved parties had been jailed, it was unlikely anyone would seek revenge on him. However, in any future tribute examinations, Wu Youcai would inevitably be brought up.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by Aunomay Read